Why I Write Erotica

“The sex lives of…women are studded with stories that can, these days – after centuries in which female desires and sexual predilections were not acknowledged, were a source of shame, and never to be put on public view – finally be told, with bravado or tenderness or humor or regret. Telling them is important, not because it excites the codgers but because, when we take the cover of marriage off the adult erotic lives of women, we learn more about the variety of things that drive and excite and hurt and engage them. We get a far more honest view of female sexuality and its complications and contradictions, its heat and its chills. And, in doing this, we finally begin to break apart the gender essentialist assumptions about ‘what women want’ that have served often to steer too many women toward fates they never desired.” – Rebecca Traister, All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation

Different people are drawn to erotica for various reasons. Some want to escape the drudgery of everyday life while reading their Kindle on a quick train ride home. Others may wish to glean ideas in order to make their personal sex lives more varied. Still others may reach for an erotic title for the sole purpose of indulging in a new fantasy. Whatever anyone’s reason for continuing to reach for erotica, they’re all equally valid.

For my part, the reason I put my fingers to the keyboard as an erotica author is simple: I believe in allowing women to be free to control and express their own sexualities.

I do this through the lens of fiction. Fiction allows me more freedom to explore various characters and scenarios. No matter how hard I try, and no matter how quickly technology has advanced in my lifetime, it’s pretty unlikely I’ll truly understand the experience of enjoying two men while inside a space shuttle. In addition, I’ll go ahead and admit the ugly truth: I’m quite selfish in that I write the kind of stories I want to read.

The most important question for me to answer, when it comes to any erotic story, is whether or not the people involved are going to have a good time. People – because everyone’s pleasure is paramount to me. In life and in fiction, I simply will not settle for selfish sex. Partners who are enthusiastic about each other’s pleasure make for a rockin’ good time.

It does depress me that today, in pockets of this country, let alone the globe, it is still revolutionary for a woman to proudly declare that she not only has sex, but enjoys it. I don’t consider myself a revolutionary by any stretch of the imagination. I’m merely a woman who enjoys writing about pleasure for pleasure’s sake.

And if anyone ever asks, “What do women want?” I offer one answer: “To come and go as they please.”


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